Gubbarewala and Baccha

I

Long before there was something so stretchy as rubber, balloons were a fact. In the pre-rubber era, balloons came from animal bladders. A pig's bladder was inflated by Galileo in an experiment to measure the weight of air. Inflated animal bladders were used in play by Indian and Eskimo children. Most of the bladders were from sea animals.In the Era to follow the discovery of uses of rubber, made balloons a common sight. Our hero 'The Gubbarewala' was fortunate that he was born in this era.

It was past mid night some thirty years ago, or maybe it was forty.The City of Mumbai was suffering from what appeared to be a cloud burst for many, but the citizen knew better. Rain had always been the same, The moment you dress and get out for your job a naughty kid on the cloud would throw a bucket of water on you. No matter who you are or what post you hold, The Naughty kid would have laugh on your account. On the rainy night, in the largest slum in the country, yes the same slum where the Oscar winning movie 'slum-dog millioner' was shot a child was born to a lady who died eventually after giving birth. 
The child grew up proving the Darwin's theory 'Survival of fittest', only the fitness was not just physical there was a more mental approach to it. The hard worker in him though made him live a honest life. In youth he did not indulge in any addiction, lived a simple life which involved just work, food and rest.
Experience taught him that the best profession he could choose was selling balloons. One he got married and built a hut of his own, he was working around park selling Helium filled balloons.... 

'Gubbare le lo Gubbre. . .'
'dus rupayeka eak .... sirf dus ruppaya'

II

It was not long before Mumbai was at the mercy of naught kid on the cloud, This time around the child being born was not poor but belonged to  typical middle class Maharashtrian family, (his mom would have loved to name the kid as 'Lakshmikant' on the name of a brilliant and superb Marathi actor 'Barde' but what his name is no one known). Unlike Gubbarewala his mother survived and the 'Baccha' was blessed with his mothers love.

When pregnant, Mother used to see 'Khichadi' a comedy series, and History and great script have told us about how Abhimanyu learned how to enter a chakravyu when he was just inside his mother womb, the 'BACCHA' learned cracking 'Lame jokes' even before he was born.

Baccha: (gubbarewala fame)

III

 

 On another such rainy day, This july (year 2012) the Gubbrewala met 'Baccha' who was lost, soaked and depressed. part of the conversation over heard by the people is compiled in this blog

[Warning: The content of the conversation have proved to be fetal and readers are advised to read them under supervision of  Expert ]

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accha - Tum factory mein paida huye ho?

 Gubbarewala - Nahi mein Maa ke Coke se paida hua hu . :@

 Baccha - Wahi toh.. COKE toh factory mein banta hai .

 Gubbarewala - Shaitaan.:@ Ruk teri Kher nahi .

 Baccha - Kaun? Kiron kher ?

 Gubbarewala - uff...

 Baccha - Teri adaa. xD

 Gubbarewala : I want to be with you

 Baccha: lakin mai Dr. hu BE nahi

 Gubbarwala: hmm hmm

 Baccha: hmmmmmm XD

=========================

Baccha : Arey Uncle Batao ye Aeroplane kaha invent hua tha?

 Gubbarewala: Pata nahi..Tu bata..?

 Baccha: Hawaii mein. :D

 Gubbarewala : Kaise maloom?

 Baccha : Isi liye toh usko Hawaii jahaaj bolte hai. xD

 Gubbarewala : Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck..!!! -_____-

 Baccha : Lagta hai Shaktimaan aa raha hai. xD

 Gubbarewala: Hmmm... :/ :(

=========================

Gubbarewala (Practising at home) : Gubbare lelo gubbare..!!

Baccha *Knocks the Door* : Knock Knock..!!

Gubbarewala: Who's there?

Baccha: Mein. xD

Gubbarewala: Baccha hai? :/

... Baccha: Nahi.. kuch nahi Bacha hai..sab khatam ho gaya..!! xD

Darwaza khol Bhootni ke. :D

Gubbarewala *Opens the Door* : Bol kaise aana hua? :/

Baccha: Paidal. xD

Gubbarewala: Faltu baatein chhod..Tu bata Tune apne balcony mein nayi Grill lagwayi hai na?

Baccha: Ha.. Kyu? :P

Gubbarewala: Toh Pagal saale kal sabziya aur bread kyu fek ke maar raha tha Grill pe?

Baccha: Wo mein Grill Sandwich bana raha tha.!! xD

Gubbarewala: Vodafone ke kutte ke Bacche.. Get Out. -__-

Baccha: Bowling toh kar..Agli ball mein pakka 'Out' ho jaunga..!! xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm..Bhutiya. -___-

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Gubbarewala: Kash Bachpan me Maa ki Baat suni hoti to aaj me Gubbare na bech raha hota.....

 Baccha: Ohh, kya kehti thi tumhari Maa???

 Gubbarewala: Jab baat hi nai suni to yaad kaise hogi.... :p

 Baccha: hmmm.....

 Gubbarewala: Hmmm..... -_-

=========================

Gubbarewala: Itna sannata kyu hai bhai ?

 Baccha: kyuki kafi raat ho gayi hai.

 Gubbarewala: hmmm

 Baccha: hmmm :)

=====================================

Gubbarewala : Gubbare lelo .. gubbare..

 Baccha: Suna tu educated ho gaya hai.. Bata tere gubbare ka surface area aur Volume kitna hai?

 Gubbarewala: 4(pi)r^2 and 972π cubic centimeters. :D

 Baccha: Volume kam kar.. Pappa jaag jayega.. xD

 Gubbarewala: hmmmm... -__-

=======================================

Gubbarewala: Good morning madam

 Teacher: Tum toh gubbarewale ho na?

 Gubbarewala: Yes ma'am.

 Teacher: Toh tumne school uniform kyun pehni hai?

 Gubbarewala: Padhne ke liye!

 Teacher: Par tumhare paas books nahi hai.

 Gubbarewala: "Padhai karne ke liye books nahi, uniform hona chahiye"

 Teacher: Hmmm, cool story bro. :)

 Gubbarewala: Hmmmm. :)

===================================

Gubbarewala: Bacche..Mein pareshaan ho gaya hu tere Lame jokes se. :/

 Baccha: I promise mein aaj se koi Lame joke nahi maarunga. :'(

 Gubbarewala: Sacchi...!!! Are you Lying??

 Baccha: No..I'm Standing. xD

 Gubbarewala: Nahi sudhrega tu Kamine. :@

 Baccha: hmmm.. xD

============================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo Gubbare...

 Baccha: Goodmorning Gubbarewala. :D

 Gubbarewala: Good morning..

 Arey bacche.. Mene suna hai tu aaj kal Measuring tape haath mein pakad ke sota hai..Aisa kyu? o.O

 Baccha: Arey wo kyuki mein dekhna chahta hu ke mein kitni lambi neend sota hu. xD

 Gubbarewala: Kisi din Bandook leke so jana kamine. -_-

 Baccha: hmmmm.. xD

================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo..Gubbare.. :D

 Baccha : Arrey uncle..Aapke gharpe Bathroom bana hai na? :D

 Gubbarewala: Ha.. :D

 Baccha: Mere gharpe toh Daal Chawal bane hai.. xD

 Gubbarewala: -____-

 Baccha: Hmmmm... xD

================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbareeeee lelo0000..Gubbare..

 Baccha: arrey uncle.. aap roz kyu pakate ho itna public ko?? :/

 Gubbarewala: Mein pakata hu? :O

 Saale ulta bol ulta.. xD

 Baccha : Ok.. xD

 /: ¿¿oʞ ɔıןqnd ɐuʇı oɥ ǝʇɐʞɐd nʎʞ zoɹ dɐɐ ˙˙ǝןɔun ʎǝɹɹɐ

 Gubbarewala: Saale tu Paida bhu ulta hi hua tha kya? :/

 Baccha: Hmmm... xD

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Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo..gubbare...

 Baccha: Uncle aapki favourite heroine kon hai?? :D

 Gubbarewala: Mallika Sherawat.. :D :D

 Baccha: Ye baat aapki wife jaanti hai?? xD

 Gubbarewala: Yaar usko na batayi please.. :'o

 Baccha: la fir 2 free gubbare.. xD

 Gubbarewala: Kamina saala.. :x

 Baccha: Kya bola??? :O

 Gubbarewala: Mera pyaara baccha.. :(

 Baccha: hmmmm... xD

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Ek Bhikhari Ek Ghar Mein Beekh Mangne Gaya, Andar Se Ek Chota sa Baccha Aaya (are wo hi Baccha jo Gubbarewale se gubbare kharidta rehta hai)

 Bhikhari: “Allah Ke Naam Pe De De Baba

 Baccha:-Main baba Nahi Beta Hoon”

 Bhikhari: “Allah Ke Naam Par De De Beta

 Baccha:- “Mera Naam Rahul Hai

 Bhikhari: “Allah Ke Naam Par De De Rahul beta

 Baccha: “Mera Poora Naam Rahul Gangwar Hai

 Bhikhari: “Allah Ke Naam Par De De Rahul Gangwar beta.

 Baccha: Ye Hui Na Baat, Ab Maaf Karo Babaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa...hmmmm :D

=================================

1) Why to ask questions?

 Kyuki Saas bhi kabhi Chocolaty thi.. Oops wait..!! o.O

 2) Gubbarewalas view on sex before marriage..

8900 views from 3 major adult sites.. xD

 3) Do u have a GF?

Grand Father? Yes. :P

 4) Girls itna bhaw kyu khaati hai?

Maybe because Bhaw bohot tasty hota hai.. xD

 5) How kasab died? I doubt he bought poisonous gubbare frm uh..

He died with dengue.. Govt is taking all credits.. :P

 6) howz bachchi?

She's as lame as Bhootiya baccha.. :/

 7) whats ur age?

Age ya piche..aapko kya matlab? :P

 8)melody itni chocolaty kyo hai?

Refer to answer 1. :P

 9) tumhare pas balloon h kya??

 Nahi..Mein yaha tamatar bechta hu.. -__-

 10) Dinbahr mein kitna kama lete ho bhaiyaa....?

Bas thodi izzat aur Pink colour ki Rosy roti.. xD

===================================================

Gubbarewala : Gubbare lelo gubbare..

 Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale..!!

 Yaar gharpe bohot garmi hai.. Electricity kaat gaye kamine..!! :/

 Gubbarewala: Bill bhar fir.. :P

 Baccha: Mein chuha thodi hu jo mere paas 'Bill' hoga bharne ko.. xD

 Gubbarewala: -_-

 Mera matlab hai.. Tera daddy light ka bill bharta hai ke nahi?

 Baccha: Ha.. Fan ka bhi bharta hai.. xD

 Aur ha..Mummy ke paas toh Baingan ka bhi Bharta hai.. xD

 Gubbarewala: Kamina..!! -_-

 Baccha: Come meena? o.O

 Who Meena?

 Where are you asking her to come? ;) xD

 Gubbarewala: hmmm...Bhutiya sala..!! -___-

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1) Ji woh baccha jo aapke maze leta hai...woh kiska baccha hai??

 Bhootnika..!! :/

 2) CID KB KHATM HOGA?

 Jab na tootne wale darwaze ban ne lagenge tabhi.. :P

 3) WHAT IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOBILE NUMBER ?

 9876543210 :)

 4) Tere pas itna fokat time kaha se ata hai?

 Pata nahi.. Meri ghadi kharab hai.. :(

 5) Sholey meh Thakur..kese nahata tha??

 Muh se nall khol ke nal ke niche baith jata tha..Ab dhota kaise tha mat puchna.. Ramlal ko awkward feel hoga.. xD

 6) Tushar Kapoor is an actor or not?

Tushar kapoor???? o.O :P

 7) JUSTIN GAY HAI YA NAHI?

 No...She is not gay.. :P

 8) Delhi belly mein jo orange juice use hua tha, uska khali bottle abhi kaha par hain..?

Kyu bhai? Bacha hua juice peena hai kya? xD

 9) Ash ne Abhishek se shadi Q ki?

No Idea..

 I use Vodafone.. :P

 10) Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Kyuki freezer mein ice hoti hai.. and it is already light.. xD

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1) Kya apne mandiro se chappal churana chhod diya?

Ha..!!

 Ab mein Joote churata hu. :D

 2) Gubarewali kahani mein kabb aye gi ??

 Pata nahi..Ayesha takia is too busy with her films.!! xD

 3) Baccha jyada intelligent hai ya gubbarewala?

Admin. B-) xD

 4) Job nahi mil rahi yaar..!!! :(

Mere yaha vacancy hai.. Ek baar zara zor se bolo "Gubbare lelo Gubbare" xD

 5) Baccha bhutiya hai toh kya woh bhoot kaa baccha h.? :-/

 Bhootni ka baccha haii.. :@

 6) Ye question kya hota hai?

 Agar aap letter 'Q' ko 10 bar likhoge..Toh usko hum Q's-Ten bolte hai.. 8|

 7) Agar manmohan gubbare kharid ne aaye to aapko kaise pata chalega ki unko kya chahiye? (as he's a mute guy)

Ab mere paas aaya hai toh obviously gubbare kharidne aaya hoga.. Konsa mein Bhurji-Pav bechta hu. xD

 8) Baccha kab bada hoga...?

 Jab uska K***a hoga. xD (:Mrbean: meme) xD

 9) How to score a distinction in exams?

 Bhai kyu Andhe ko raasta puch rahe ho? :P

 10) Pamela anderson ko bhi gubbare aap hi dete ho?

 Ek baar Paa mela dekhne gaya tha toh usko ander apna Son mil gaya.. Fir usne apni beti ka naam PA-MELA ANDER-SON rakh diya tha..!!

 Aur rahi baat gubbaro ki.. Na ji na.. Gubbare ka Idea toh mujhe Pamela ji se hi aya hai..!! xD

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Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..

 Baccha: Oye gubbarewala aaj mein bohot Udaas hu..Mera exam bekaar gaya..!! :(

 Gubbarewala: Tera naam agar Pankaj hota toh tu aaj Pankaj udaas hota? xD

 Baccha: Yaar koi gaana hi suna de accha sa.. :(

 Gubbarewala: "Laal Gubbara ud gaya re Bairi hawa ke jhonke se.... Mujhko bhootiye bacche ne dekh liya..haye re dhoke se..

 Maana ke meri fir lega wo....Aaj toh meri jaan lega wo.." :/ xD

 Baccha: Yaar bhaari insaan hai re tu ekdum!!! :D

 Gubbarewala: Ha..120kg ka hu. xD

 Baccha: Mera matlab you are Genius.. -_-

 Gubbarewala: Ha i eat Parle G.. G mane Genius..!! xD

 Baccha: Chal Phut..!! :/

 Gubbarewala: *Kaboom* xD

 Baccha: Hmmm.. -__-

==============================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..

 Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale... Kaisa hai?

 Gubbarewala: I'm not well.. :(

 Baccha:Pata hai..Well hota toh log tujhme bucket fek ke paani nikal rahe hote.. xD

 Gubbarewala: Yaar sir dukh raha hai bohot..!!! :/

 Baccha: Sir dukh raha hai? Teacher kaisi hai? xD

 Gubbarewala: Abbey kyu hamesha dimaag ki Mother sister karta rehta hai?

 Paap milega tujhe.. :/

 Baccha: Mein padhai shuru karta hu fir.. :D

 Gubbarewala: Kyu?

 Baccha: Paap milte waqt agar mein Padh raha hounga toh Paap-padh ho jayega na.. Aur mujhe paapad bohot pasand hai.. xD

 Gubbarewala: Meri tabiyat aur bigad di tune.. Ambulance..!! Medicine.!!!

 Yaar Koi goli do mujhe.. :(

 Baccha: *Dishkyaaon* xD

 Gubbarewala: Hmmm... -___-

========================================================

Gubbarewala : Gubbare lelo gubbare.. :D

Baccha: Oye gubbarewale..wh ­at are you doing?

Gubbarewala: Thinking.. \_( -_-)_/

Baccha: Thin king? I thought you were aFat King.. xD

Gubbarewala: Paka mat bey.. Please stop Talking.. :/

Baccha: Stop Tall-king? Kidar hai Tall king? xD

Gubbarewala: How dare you talk like this with me? :@

Who do you think you are? :@

Baccha: Chill.. I'm Jo-King.. xD

Gubbarewala: Will you please stop F**KING with my brains now?

Nahi toh teri shikayat kar dunga teri Mummy se.. :@

Baccha: Woh nahi mil payengi tujhse..

She's busy Cook-King.. xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm....Bhutiya ­ baccha.. -__-

==============================================================

Gubbarewala : Oye bacche kal shaam kahan tha tu...

Baccha : I was watching cartoons at POGO. . :)

.

.

Gubbarewala : Yun hi

POGO dekh raha tha ya koi joke samaj ni aya? :P ;)

Baccha : hmmm -____-

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CID : Gubbarwala Episode

Well the much awaited CID episode of Bachha and Gubbarewala is here: . . CID : gubbarewala episode (Daya introducs to the story) {kya kabhi kisi ki gubbare se maut ho sakti hai ? jee haan!! usi gubbare se jise dekh kar har baccha khush ho jaata hai....chaliye dekhte hain kaise isne ek bacche ki jaan lee..} ************************

(breaking news on India tv) : MUMBAI me ek bacche ki Gubbare Phootne se Maut !!! _____________________

(cid Office)

Daya (his phone rings) : Kya ? Kaise ?? Accha ruko abhi hum pahunchte hain.

Daya(to others) : ek flat me 1 bacche ki maut ho gayi hai. wo ghar me akela tha , uski maa use gubbare dila ke pass wale market me gayi thee.

ACP (applying fleming's right hand rule) : O My Gawdd ! Ye kaise ho gya ? kuch na kuch to gadbad hai daya! pata lagao ye hua to hua kaise.?? ( ACP pradyuman,Abhijeet,Vivek rides on their 14 years old - grand Qualis)

_____________________

ACP : peeche hatiye !! hum CID se aaaye hain ! (after enquiring with different people present their,and finally enquiring to the gatekeeper)

Gatekeeper : sir jab main bahar kisi kaam se gya tha tab hi ek gubbare wala chup chaap yahan ghus aaya tha... jab main wapas aaya to wo peeche ke gate se bhaag raha tha.

(Dr. Salukya's phone rings ) Dr. Salukya : BOSS ! 1 Solid khabar hai ! ACP : kya ? kya hua ?

Salukya : us bacche ki maut kisi aaise waise kaaran se nai hui hai !us bacche ki maut hasne ke kaaran hui hai hai !

ACP : kya hasne ke kaaran ??

Salukya : haan boss ! isko acute laughing terminology kehte hain ! agar koi laughing gas ka overdose le le to ye ho jaati hai !

ACP : o My gawdd !!! ACP ( to others ) : ab maut ka sahi kaaran to wo gubbare wala hi btayega. Abhijeet pata lagao ki wo gubbare wala tha kaun ?

_______________ ______________

(after 2 hours of investigation in the whole city) Abhijeet ( at gubbarewala's and the famous kid's house) : Darwaja kholo ! nai to hum darwaja tod denge

Vivek ( whispering in Abhijeet's ears) : sir aaj aapko khud hi todna hoga darwaja. Daya sir ko bas introduction dene ke pasie mile the.

Abhijeet : kk Vivek :hmmm . (after struggling , THE famous Gubbarewala And The Kid Opens the door )

Abhijeet : hum Cid se aaye hain.tum 1 khooni ho . Tumne ek bache ki jaan lee hai. Child : hmmm.

Gubbarewala : nai sir maine koi khoon nai kiya hai . main to bas is bacche ke saath gubbare bechte bechte time pass karta hoon.

Child : ye time pass to biscuit hota hai . aap wo bhi bechte hain ? mujhe bhi chaiye :D

VIvek : chup ho jao bacche Child : kkk gubbarewala : hmmm Vivek : tumne wo khoon kaise kiya?

Gubbarewala : maine khoon nai kiya hai sir. main bekassor hoon. (abhijeet slaps him; at CID headquater)

GUbbarewala : haan maine hi khoon kiya tha . main gubbare me oxygen bharne ke liye oxygen cylinder lene gaya tha , lekin us ladke ne sara oxygen inhal kar liya aur mujhe carbon di oxide dediya . Isile maine us ladkey se badla liya.

Child : solid hai boss ! aapne to eint ka jawab pathar se diya .

Gubbarewala : hmmm. ACP : kya tumne use sirf oxygen ke kaaran maara. tum ek mujrim ho. tumne ye kiya kaise ?

Gubbarewala : maine use ek ballon me laughing gas aur chloroform mila ke khelne diya.. jaise hi gubbara phoota wo hanste hanste mar gaya .

Child : kya innovative soch hai ... gud Gubbare wala : thanx bhai Child : hmmm

ACP : tum 1 khooni ho. tumne 1 bacche ki jaan lee hai. Ab to tumhe phaansi hogi ! phaansi ! Gubbarewala : huh .

Child : hmmm

Abhijeet : hmmm

VIvek : hmmm

ACP : HMMM

========================================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..

Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale..!! Ek baat bolu?

Gubbarewala: Bol..

Baccha: Na halke halke..bol na halke halke.. xD

Gubbarewala: -_-

Mene dekha tujhe aaj footbaal khelte huye.. Goal kiya ke nahi? :D

Baccha: Nahi.. Ball pehle se hi Gol tha. xD

Gubbarewala: Height of Lameness..!! -_-

Baccha: 5 ft 10 inch. xD

Gubbarewala: Yaar mein pehle hi ye Gubbare ka cylinder utha ke thak gaya hu..Mat sadaa mujhe tu.. :/

Baccha: Oye tere toh Arms bhi bohot strong hai.. Kahi tu Neil Armstrong ka beta toh nahi..?? xD

Gubbarewala: Ha hu.. -_-

Baccha: Lol.. Mujhe toh laga tha ke Neil Armstrong sirf chand pe chada tha.. xD *If u know what i mean*

Gubbarewala: Kutte ke bacche..!! :@

Kya bola tune? :@

Baccha: *Bhow bhow* xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm.. -__-

====================================================================

Gubbarewala: tht cow is a lovely colour

Baccha : yes its a Jersey

Gubbarewala: oh. i thought its her skin

Baccha : hmmmm

Gubbarewala: hmmmm

Cow: humaaa...Gadha..

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Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo.. gubbare..

Baccha: Oye uncle... kidar ja rahe ho?

Gubbarewala: Andheri..

Baccha: Kyu?

Gubbarewala: Mera interview hai..

Baccha: kis chiz ka?

Gubbarewala: Gubbarewala sales man ka..

Baccha: Resume toh hoga na?

Gubbarewala: Mene pause kab kiya jo resume hoga? xD

Baccha: Abey meri aadat kabse lag gayi tujhe?

Gubbarewala: jab se tere naina..

Baccha: Mere naino se..

Gubbarewala: laage re. xD

Baccha: Chal saale abhi paka mat..

Best of luck. (y)

Gubbarewala: hmmm.. thanks.

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Gubbarewala - gubbare le lo.

Baccha - knock knock

Gubbarewala- whose there?

Baccha - Spell

Gubbarewala- Spell who?

Baccha - W H O

Gubbarewala - paka mat. Bol subah subah ghar q aaya hai?

Baccha - ghar Nai. Main aaya Hun.

Gubbarewala - ho Gaya...•_•

Baccha - hai tujh ko to pYaAr sajna..

Gubbarewala - lakh Kar le tu inkar sajna.

Baccha - band Kar apni bekaar awaz me gaana...

Gubbarewala - jaa na..-__-

Baccha - gana mana adhinayak jaye hai..

Gubbarewala - hmmm...-____-

====================================================

gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..

Baccha: Oye aaj kal hai kaha tu?

Gubbarewala: Yaar mene apna Area badal diya..!!

Baccha: Kyu? :O

Gubbarewala: Mere Area ke log acche nahi the..!! Bohot Rough the..!!

Baccha: Abbey Crack cream laga deta ape Area mein..!!

Ad nahi dekha.. 'Crack Cream- 'Area banaye soft,Rakkhe soft' xD

Gubbarewala: hmmmm

Baccha : hmmm

===================================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..!!

Baccha: *Throws his notebook on Gubbarewala*

Gubbarewala: Ouch..!! :/

Baccha: Kya hua? xD

Gubbarewala: Book lagi..!! -_-

Baccha: Toh kuch kha lo. xD

Gubbarewala: Abey book kyu marie?

Baccha: Kyuki mein Marie biscuit kha ke aya tha. xD

Gubbarewala: Tu saale mairie biscuit ka bhoot hai..!! :/

Baccha: Matlab? o.O

Gubbarewala: Matlab Bhoot-Marie-ka. xD

=======================================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..!! :)

Baccha: Oye ek joke sunau? xD

Gubbarewala : Saale bhag yaha se..!!

*Plucks a leaf from the nearby tree and throws it on baccha*

\_(-_- )_>

Baccha: Oye Patta fek ke kyu maar raha hai?

Marr jaaata toh mein? :/

Gubbarewala: Abey saale..!! -_-

Bata toh aaj tak koi maraa hai Patta lagne se..!! :/

Baccha: Aur nahi toh kya...!!

Wo saamne wale Mr.Gupta ji mar gaye..!! :P

Gubbarewala: Kaise? :/

Baccha: Uski wife ko unke affair ka Patta lag gaya tha..!! xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm..!! :@

Yamraaj ke Bacche..!! Please 'leaf' me alone..!!! _/'\_(-_- )

=========================================================

1)Log photo khichte time , "Say Cheese" kyu bolte hai?

Ans: Ameer log bolte honge cheese.. Hum gareeb toh Butter se kaam chala lete hai. :P

2)Istri wale ko kya bolte hai?

Ans: Ironman. xD

3)Whats ur password???

Ans: *************

4)Question- ABCD ka 11th letter kya he?

Ans: ABCD= Any body can dance. (Upcoming dance film)

'd' 11th letter hai. xD

5) Why clock does TIK TIK . .?

Ans: Kyuki Tik Tok karti toh wo Clock nahi Kesha hoti. xD

6) If i hire two detectives to follow each other, what will happen?

Ans : Ringa Ringa Roses. xD

7) Kya tera Dil BADA hai?

Ans: Nahi.. 'BADA' toh Samsung ka Operating system hai. :P

8)Sari duniya Amir kyun nahi ho jaati?

Ans: Amir Khan ke bohot bade fan lagte ho. :P

9)What do you call a man who farts in the Evening?

Ans: Sham-Poo? :P

10)Cricketer Laxmipati Balaji kya kya hua?

Ans: Log uska Wafer banake kha rahe hai aaj kal. xD

11) How old are you?

Ans: Old? Bitch Please..!!

Abhi toh mein jawaan hu. ;-)

(Ab bolna mat jawaan hai toh border pe ja) :P

12) Gubbarewale Khaata kya hai?

Ans: Khaata is the hindi word for Account. xD

13) Ye konsa question number hai? :P

Ans: 'Mera'

kyuki jo 13 hai wo mera hai. :P

14) Meri bhatiji chai bohot peeti hai. Wo kaha ki hai? :P

Ans: Chai-Niece. xD

15) Macchar kabhi kahi perform kyu nahi karte? :P

Ans: Kyuki wo Taaliyo se darte hai. xD

=================================================

Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale..!! Bata aisa konsa Indian superhero hai jo hamesha logo pe shaq karta hai par Yakeen nahi karta? :P

Gubbarewala: Pata nahi..!! :/

Tu bataa? 

Baccha: Shak-timaan. xD

Gubbarewala: hmmm..!! -_-

Shaktimaan ki Choti choti magar moti baaton ki kasam, Aap bhutiye hai.!! -_-

=======================================================

Baccha:Oye Gubbarewale tu kaha rehta hai ?

Gubbarewala:I live opposite to JOGESHWARI..

Bacha:okk..matlab JOGESH DON'T WORRY..

Gubbarewala:hmmm..

=======================================================

Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale.. Kal raat ko mene ek ladki ko Whatsapp pe message bheja toh kuch der mein Scene ho gaya..!!

Gubbarewala: Ha kya?

Kya hua?

Maar peet toh nahi huyi?

Baccha: Maar peet kyu hogi? :/

Gubbarewala: Scene ho gaya na? o.O

Baccha: Abey.. Chubbarewale..!!

Jo message bheja tha wo 'Seen' ho gaya..at 9:21pm. xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm..!! -_-

Message ka chalta hai.. Par tu saala 'Deliver' nahi hona chahiye tha..!! :/

=============================================================

Gubbarewala and Baccha visit the 'Jhama' sweet shop in Mumbai.*

Baccha: Oye ye konsi shop hai?

Gubbarewala: Jhama. :D

Baccha: Meri jeans dheeli hai, mein is shop ko 3.14 se multiply kar du?

Gubbarewala: Kyu? o.O

Baccha: Taaki ye 'Pai-Jhama' ban jaye aur mein pehen lu..! xD

Gubbarewala: Hmmm..!! -_-

Abey..!! 'Jha-Ma' mat **** dimaag ki..!! :@

==============================================================

Gubbarewala: Gubbare lelo gubbare..!!

Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale..Ye kya hai?

Gubbarewala: Ye Coconut hai.

Baccha: Ye asli nahi hai. :P

Gubbarewala: Obviously ye asli hai...!! :/

Baccha: Nahi. :P

Gubbarewala: Kaise? :/

Baccha: Ye Na-REAL hai. xD

UJFW

मै लिखना भुल गया 

Bowling Nicky Bowling : Pitch Report

The first time I actually had a conversation with him was our Mechanics lecture. The senior lecturer had brought a OHP (over head projector) to explain a few concepts, the incident took place roughly eight years before and I really can't recollect what he was explaining but, what I remember is that he was unable to project it properly on the board, so he choose to  project the contents on the sidewall of the room. The students sitting on that side had to move to the other side so that they could get a better view of the transparencies. I reluctantly dragged my feet's to the other side. I was bored to death and the whole episode of me landing in Instrumentation engineering and studying a subject that required tedious calculations had bowled me over in and over out. I finally found a  bench occupied by a couple of guys, the guys always were first benchers and I had never before even exchange a 'hello' with them.  The guy on the far side was non descriptive guy who hailed from a humble background, struggled a lot while commuting and latter his success was applauded by everyone as a fruit of his industrious efforts. His name as I later learned was Chetan. The first thing any Indian does on meeting a fellow Indian in any part of world or even in India itself is categorize. Adaptive resonance theory for different neural network present inside humans brain decides the depth of categories, but one look at the guy sitting beside Chetan and you could conclude he's a Brahmin. Curly hair, broad temple, colored eye and a look of wtf on his face.

slowly he asked me in a very sharp tongued Marathi, "whats your name?"

on hearing mine with a node of his head, accompanied with deep slow nasal voice he concluded, "then, you can sit."

a cartoon of 'Nico' from his latter days !

on some other occasion, some other place I would have asked enquired him about his name before actually sitting, but I was too resigned to do so. Slowly I sank in the place and faced the  remaining lecture. After the lecture I'm not sure if I did exchange thoughts or words with him but it was latter during our exam that a marked the beginning of  symbiotic friendship with him. I agree that a symbiotic relation does exist and is a major part of all friendship or even bigger relations like love and marriage but, neither he nor I, ever tried to mask the symbiotic mentality with the creamy words.

It was much latter, around our first semester examination that I actually got to know him. Then, he was still known as Ghansham (Rajmachikar). The exam kicked off with maths paper, Abhishek Solanki and I, were sipping coffee in our college canteen an hour before the exam. The fact that I had just covered quarter of syllabus had made my throat dry. 

I was amused when I found Ghansham had come in his track pant and a bright red collared Reebok tee. He came over to us and said in a high pitch nasal voice, 'aare, I have completed just one or two unit re, I need your help to learn others'

Abhishek laughed, He had habbit to blurting his true emotions without hesitation.

'yep, we have completed whole portion' He said in a very energetic tone. The confidence was oozing through his voice. I was startled.

'we came from Mars, we learned everything by heart there' 

The explanation, brought laugh allover. Ghansham sanked in chari beside, dejected. A sleepy look over his face, his curly hairs looking like a birds nest. 

A brief discussion reveled, all four of us (the forth being Milind Telang)  had studied different topic. Each took a quarter of hour to explain his study and thus we somehow managed to say, 'we will know to which unit the question belongs to!'

Exam ended, all of us cleared maths. 

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Hona chahiye jokes

Beta naughty hona chahiye,
Sanskari tho Alok Nath ji bhi hai...!


Currency hamesha Rupees honi chahiye,
Euro aur Dollar tho underware bhi hai..!


Nara humesha India-India hona chahiye,
pak pak tho murgi bhi karti hai...!


Award film-fare hona chahiye,
Oscar tho player bhi hai...!



Insan hamesha jannat mai rehana chahiye,
mannat mai tho SRK bhi rehata hai...!


Pyaar hamesha senior se hona chahiye,
junior tho horlics bhi hai..!


Professor hamesha PhD hona chahiye,
MS tho Dhoni bhi hai... !

like our fb page

 Football player Gerrard hona chahiye,
Messi tho meri room bhi hai... !


Relationship mai nazdiqiya honi chahiye,
space tho hard disk mai bhi hota hai...!


Ladki susheel honi chahiye,
Lovely to university bhi hai!


Ladki lovely honi chahiye,
susheel to kunar shinde bhi hai !!


Admi hamesha Jaga rehana chahiye,
soya tho bean bhi hota hai !


Engineering student ko hamesha KT lagi rahini chahiye,
Allclear tho shampoo bhi hota hai !


Teacher ko ache marks dene chahiye,
Ande toh murgi bhi deti hai...!!


Laptop tho dell ka hona chahiye,
HCL tho acid bhi hai... !


Ladkiyan khoobsoorat honi chahiye,
hot toh coffee bhi hoti hai.... !


Degree Masters honi chahiye,
Bachelor to Atalji bhi hai...!


Ladka intelligent hona chahiye,
hot to samosa bhi hota hai. !!


Ladka handsome hona chahiye,
cool Navratna tel bhi hota hai.. !!


Khabar aaj ki honi chahiye,
kal-ki tho kochin bhi hai....!


chera clean shaved hona chahiye,
hairy tho potter bhi hai...! 

Baal majboot hone chahiye,
Mulayam ­­ to yadav bhi hai... !


Ladka accha hona chahiye,
smart to phone bhi hota hai... !


Girls ko aurat hona chahiye,
Mahila to Jayawardhne bhi hai... !


President tho kalam hona chahiye,
Mukharji tho apni Rani bhi hai... !


Ladki ko akal honi chahiye,
Surat tho gujrat mai bhi hai... !


Dessert mein icecream hona chahiye,
Falooda to ijjat ka bhi hota hai... !


Dil mai pyaar hona chahiye,
Dard tho movie bhi hai !


Reply dhang ka hona chahiye,
Hmmmm toh bhais bhi karti hai ...!!!


Weather rainy hona chahiye,
Sunny toh deol bhi hai... !!!


Planet ko Jupiter hona chahiye,
Pluto tho kutta bhi hai... !!!


Ladka kamina hona chahiye,
shareef tho Nawaz bhi hai.. !!!


Ladka funny hona chahiye,
Gambhir tho gautam bhi hai...!


Admi garib hona chahiye,
aamir tho khan bhi hai....


Ladki darpok honi chahiye,
Bindass tho channel bhi hai...!


Bowler ko spinner hona chahiye,
Fast tho Anna Hazare bhi karte hai... !


Khane mai mithai honi chahiye,
Namak tho toothpaste mai bhi hota hai... !


Ladke ka accha naam hona chahiye,
badnaam tho munni bhi hai... !


Husband bewafa hona chahiye,
wafadar tho kutta bhi hota hai... !


Ladki gori honi chahiye,
Black tho berry bhi hota hai... !


Admi ko dil hona chahiye,
cena tho john bhi hai ... !



Mall toh Infiniti jaisa hona chahiye,
Oberoi toh Vivek bhi hai .... !


Balon main volume hona chahiye,
Shiny toh Ahuja bhi hai...!


Dil bada hona chahiye,
Chota toh Bheem bhi hai... !


Insan main atma sanman hona chahiye,
jaan to aaj kal cement me bhi hai...!


Ladki caring honi chahiye,
Nirmal toh Lifestyle bhi hota hai...!


Bachha ek hi paida hona chaiye,
twins toh towers bhi hote hai......!

Jawab seedha hona chahiye,
ulta toh taarak mehta ka chashma bhi hai...!


Aarti ki thali mein agarbatti honi chahiye,
kapoor toh Kareena bhi hai........!







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Waited JRF

'Garbage !'

usually the kinder-garden kids swear so unoffensive words, but the notion of an adult doing it makes you wonder about the high standard deviation in people across Maharashtra. Curses which don't end, futile attempts of threatening and incomplete justification are what you usually get when you irritate him. Usually the plot is bigger then the performer, but here the performer always tried taking limelight. (yep, that 'tried' was intentional).

The very first time during our PG admission when I met this guy, I thought to myself , had i met him somewhere else I would have taken him to be a commerce guy, a bank accountant or something. A very typical 'khandeshi' look of a skeleton with skin sticking to it.  A very dull color shirt to match with a undefined dark bluish color trouser with snadels on his feet. This was the look I had to bare with for another year till the time he came round the corner in what could be named as 'tinted saint meets popular Satan'.

The initial encounters with the 'gang of uganda' earned him the title of 'wakdeshwar', the slanted one. As the days passed the slant angle angle reduced and then the phase shift operator, introduced by a research scholar took the angle in the second quadrant.  The phase shift operators kept acting bit by bit , doing their part. 'The juice became hard and ... '. A gentle wave of hand, along with a soft smile and little gyration of  hips  he would dismiss the whole idea and change the topic to the origin (of trouble), "tu shadi kab kar raha hai be?" (when are you getting married)

It is hard to define human nature in few basis function, neither in time domain nor in frequency. It would be futile attempt on my part to try and fit basis function for him in spatial domain, but the thought of trying to enjoy the attempt was always a motivation for me. The first basis function,  is behavior in group and when you are 'alone' (i could not think of a word, suggestions are welcome) with him and oddly his behavior is odd parity like a sine function with a unruly, erratic, immature and illogical behavior in public as compared to a calm, composed, well mannered and mature etiquette he observes when you find him devoid of group attraction.     .

Just a few weeks after our admission in college, we had fallen in a healthy ritual of a morning walk to ground and round of yogic exercises with usual goofy and slapstick humor when a member of our group actually went into a meditative mode. One such morning while returning to our rooms, our dreamer was walking a few  steps ahead of the group. It was his habit to walk briskly, his attention fixed on his own thoughts, his steps more heavy towards right steering him off the course and well I could go on and on. On this particular day my observation, as it turned out to be everyone view was put to lips by another of our hostelmate who was a fellow researcher in  computer aided design and was accompanying us for the first time to our morning drill to flatten his ballooning tummy. The flow of comments that followed were a collection of explicit that were regionally famous but were now collectively discussed. From the tapori language of Mumbai, a sharp taunt of Pune, a Hydrabadi mixed Marathvada slang to a Nandurbari shivi and Kolhapuri laugh. The rest of Maharashtra contributed by smiling and taking a dig with either wink or common Bollywood movie dialogue. The division of conscious psyche, better known as ego was hurt, and from as we went to out customary tea stall, he escaped to his room. Better for him that his roommate was not from our pack and all morning cocoon of his was not breached.  Latter during college, when someone, It could have been me (the probability of it being someone is quiet less as I was never a believer in trying to maintain a reputation and never was worried about the reputation of others), opened the issue where it was left in the morning faced a backlash, "How will you feel if your matters of room were discussed in public?" The only response I could manage was that of a weird facial expression which neither I understood nor can I describe. At this point I would also like to comment that these were my few of first ever days in a hostel. I was oblivious of the privacy pact that roommates usually followed, I learned latter that there were none and our dreamer was never in company of guys before. Time healed the wounds, or maybe he just matured enough to understand that group always consist of people who try to pull each others legs. 

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Bowling Nicky Bowling : Yor(Haw)ker

As a part of my crude logic ritual of calling all the contacts listed on the mobile phone book, I called Nico.  Nico was my BE classmate and his opinions on aspect of life usually differed substantially from the others. After the exchange of usual unnecessary greetings and stupid gossip, Nico started to tell me about a memorable weekend in Mahabaleshwar. The day being the fools day, I was not all together convinced about the authenticity of the incident. But nevertheless,  it was a good story to hear and I thought  it would not be a bad blog either.

The story started with Nico's trip to client company at Satara. He finished his work on Friday and true to his capricious nature went to Mahabaleshwar without any company. He claims that he developed a very good friendship with a strawberry farm owner. (I'm not sure how he did, it though. I was meaning to ask him over phone but, I had already talked over phone for more than three hours then and, wanted the call to end soon. You can also say that I dint wanted to alter the flow of his story). The new friend made him his guest. Nico took shelter at the farm for the weekend. During day time he visited various places. Another solitary incident that he mentioned during latter half our thirty minute call  suggested that he kept himself busy at the day time. When he was leaving back for Mumbai the strawberry farm owner gave him twenty boxes of strawberry. Each box contained approximately half kilo of the fruit.  The boxes were so perfectly packed that he could not refuse by complaining about not being able to carry them back home. Nico offered money, but the owner kept declining. Finally the owner did accept the money, but that did not even amount to the hospitality he has offered Nico during the weekend.

Nico himself found sitting in train bored to death with a  ten kilo of strawberry with him. His train of thought took him to imaginary reaction of his dad that would follow on discovering that his son had brought 10 Kg of fruit. He argued giving away most of the strawberry to his relatives en-rout to his house. Then he dismissed the thought considering the luggage he was carrying. His thought process was interrupted by a fellow passenger who asked him what he was carrying. On  the subsequent discovery of the fresh strawberry from Mahabaleshwar in his luggage, the other were wondering if they were for sale. One of the fellow passenger brought the thoughts to lip and much to Nico's and his astonishment,  Nico obliged by quoting the price of the strawberry. After much haggling over the prices, as a time killer for Nico and money saver for passenger, Nico sold his first kilo of strawberry for the day. A few other boxes were brought by other passenger of the compartment.

With another hour for the train to complete its journey Nico thought about moving to another compartment and selling remaining fruit. Giving sample to taste he moved from compartment to compartment. A sexagenarian started to inquire about his background. On discovering that Nico was studding in a reputed college (sexagenarian was alumni of the same ) his interest in Nico's act received an exacerbation. Nico gave an situation relevant reply, he said and I quote (try reading it with a nasal voice very peculiar to him and imagine him with excessive shoulder movement while making gestures ) "Whenever I travel to Mahabaleshwar, I ensure that my expenses are covered by the selling these fruits. I even insist my fellow classmate about following it. And to think about it , what is the harm in it. In foreign countries student actually do this stuff." Impressed with his idea, the old man pointed out another advantage of this exerciser. He felt that ego in youth is toned down by this kind of endeavor. The rejection by the passenger who are least interested in buying and sometimes even having to digest insults, from few people who find hawkers irritating contribute to a very different attitude to handle situation. Well just to aid Nico, he brought remaining five kilo of strawberry.

It would be harsh if I concluded the chapter,  his conclusion of the incident was very free-spirited, "As I sat down after the trip and removed my mobile to listen to song from my android phone for rest of the journey, rest of the passenger were staring at me with a attitude 'Aare Ye kya Scene Hai !' "

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Parody

1. Hunter Parody.


Presenting....

'GUBBAREWALA' from *Gubbaras of Wasseypur*


I am a Gubbarewalaaa , she wants to see my Gubbare.
When i pull it out boy, everyone starts to 'Hmmm' (humm)


She begs me too see it, she begs me to blow it..
But when i reveal it , she smiles but doesn't buy. :(


*Hailo..Hailo..­!! Gubbare lailo*

Put on my selling clothes , let we go and sell...
Please don't be embarassed , you could yell while we two sell..

All the young one, Especially Baccha.., Ask him about me..
I am the Lamest Gubbarewala, that they ever see..!! :D

Humm hai Gubbare... Gubbare mein hai Dumm..!!
Thaaa se jo phoote , jaise ho atom bumm..!! :D

I am a Gubbarewalaaa , she wants to see my Gubbare.
When i pull it out boy, everyone starts to 'Hmmm' (humm) :D



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Alok Nath ji Jokes

1. When alok nath was born, doctor said “badhai ho, babuji hue hain”

2. Alok Nath school mein bhi lunch box ke badle Prasad le jaya karte the

3. Alok Nath temple run bhi chappal utar kar khelte hain

4. Alok Nath has no friends because he turns “Dosti into Rishteydaari”

5. Alok nath is so sanskari that he smokes agarbattis.

6. Alok Nath celebrated bachelor party in Vaishno Devi.

7. Alok Nath had all senior citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.

8. The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life.- Haridwar and Pariwar

9. Alok Nath has such a personality that sometimes his wife calls him bhaisahab!

10. Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as ParleG

11. In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.

12. Alok Nath has never received salary , he always receives pension

13. Alok Nath reads “All Indians are my brothers and sisters” as “All Indians are my Samdhans and Samdhis”.

14. Alok Nath is someone who is worried about Kanyadaan of the Girl who is yet to be born!

15. Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows : “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at …”

16. When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”

17. Alok Nath wants Facebook to add ‘Aashirwad’ button.

18. Alok naths morning tea is made with Gangajal

19. Alok naths watch displays only Achchha and Bura Samay

20. Alok Nath convinced Sunny Leone to quit porn.!

21. Alok Nath’s Caller Tune is ‘Babul ki Duaayein Leti Jaa…’

22. Even Emran Hashmi can't kiss Alok Nath daughters because of their sanskar.

23. Q: Which car does Alok Nath drive?
      A: Sanskar

24. Alok Nath walks into a bar and orders haldi ka doodh.

25. Alok Nath's selfies have 87 family members and a dog.


26. Alok Nath's favorite party song -- "4 baj gaye lekin aarti abhi baaki hai"

Alok Nath CV Reads as:-

Degree- MBA in Kanyadaan

Skills- Sanskaar

Experience- 10022848 Kanyadaans done

Hobby- Giving Ashirwads!

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Bablya and Pappa

These are the few 'kisse' (Incidents) that were described to me by the SRF 'JP' to me and my friends over the cup of customary tea that we all had at 3pm during our  dissertation. The incidents are recorded as JP said it to us and are random in nature and mostly either followed by a similar incident or many a times following a discussion on the same topic.
I'll update the 'Kisse' as and when I hear a new one from JP and would update the Introduction to our main character Bablya, his Dad and yea our SRF JP too ;)

क

Few years back it so happen that in Nanded wearing helmet while riding bike became compulsory. The traffic police constables made it a point to remember by hitting the riders with their 'lathi' and thus every bike owner brought helmets. Like ever law that was tried to be enforced even this was forgotten. From everyone following this law to many and then to a few and finally no1 following the helmet rule. Just 3 months after the wearing helmet was made compulsory the use of helmet in the City of Gurudwara had stopped. 

A few months after the forceful compliance had stopped, I went to Bablya's house. On reaching there i found his dad (bablyache Pappa) with a broom in his hand, a helmet over his head standing over a stool ,dressed only in his lungi and vest trying to remove the cobwebs that had grown on the ceiling. 

When he realized my presence he grabbed the lower end of lungi pulled it half up and jumped from the stool. He opened his helmet visor and gave me a ear to ear grin. Then laughing he chuckled 

'The helmet was not getting used. So i put it to use this way. This way the cobweb don't fall on your eyes' 

And he started laughing in his typical way.

 ख

   A few years back in order to crub the eve teasing, Nanded police had open a unique 'chidimar' squad.  The unique squad a unique logic too, the boys going tripse on bike were more prone to be eve teasers. Bablya as usual was going triple seat on bike. He was caught and was taken to police station.  While he was being ushered into the police van a kid from our colony (Arun) saw him and he went shouting about it in colony.

    We were in 11th -12th then and I was in tution when bablayche pappa came in our class and started enquireing if bablya was there. The teacher asked what was wrong and on learning that there was rumour of bablaya being taken to police station the boys started shouting (whats new ? ,its expected !, must have done something wrong, he has bad company ...). Being their family friend I went along with bablyache pappa to the station (obviously police)

   It was my first trip to station and I was curious about it. I spent time drinking water from the water purifier there, Inspecting the urinals even trying to match the face in the wanted list with the faces of the criminals in the jail. (whats the use of having some one in wanted list if they are already being caught ?). A total of six tripse bike , meaning a total of 18 boys were caught. They were made to sit crossed legged on the floor in a line. When bablaya saw  his dad, He explained 'even (svatantraveer) Savarkar had to go to jail.'

ग 

Even when we were in school Bablya exhibited a true talent of unnerving teachers.  During our science lecture our physics sir were explaining the phenomenon of light travelling faster than sound. He quoted the simplest example of Thunder and lightning. While the sir continued with the lecture, Bablaya kept pondering something. After a while he raised his hand as if wanting to ask question. The physics master obliged by giving him the opportunity to clear his doubt. Those were days of TV which had CRT's in them. The display took ages to start. A loud static sound often was taken as alert for TV starting and even before the picture is displayed the sound track was audible. Bablya got up slowly and taking his time he asked "then how come when we start TV we hear sound before the picture comes ?"

Unexpected question are always a curse for the teachers. Little known television system was getting discussed and the Physicist had no idea about the technology component of it. He pondered over it and replied 'like everything we study has exception, TV is exception in this case. ति  सिस्टमअच्  तशी  अस्ते "

The story reminded me of a friend of mine who had baffled the whole class with his very simple question. The question tho logical still has no justification neither after so many years from our classmate nor from the Marathi teacher or in fact anyone else. The  story starts with an excerpt from Mahabharata where Bhima was fighting with Jarasand. According to Mahabharata,

Brihadratha was the king of Magadha. His wives were the twin princesses of Benares. While he led a content life and was a famed king, he was unable to have children for a very long time. Frustrated over his inability to have children, he retreated to the forest and eventually ended up serving a sage named Chandakaushika. The sage took pity on him and on finding the actual cause for his sorrow, gave him a fruit and told him to give it to his wife who in turn will soon become pregnant. But the sage did not know that he had two wives. Not wishing to displease either wife, Brihadratha cut the fruit in half and gave it to both of them. Soon both the wives became pregnant and gave birth to two halves of a human body. These two lifeless halves were very horrifying to view. So, Brihadratha ordered these to be thrown in the forest. A demoness (Rakshasi) named "Jara" (or Barmata) found these two pieces and held each of these in her two palms. Incidentally when she brought both of her palms together,the two pieces joined together giving rise to a living child. The Child cried loudly which created panic for Jara. Not having the heart to eat a living child, the demoness gave it to the king and explained him all that happened. The father named the boy as Jarasandha (literally meaning "joined by Jara").

Chandakaushika arrived at the court and saw the child. He prophesied to Brihadratha that his son will be specially gifted and would be a great devotee of Lord Shiva. 

Jarasandha became a famed and powerful king, extending his empire far and wide. He prevailed over many kings, and was crowned emperor of Magadha. Even while Jarasandha's power continued to grow, he had concerns over his future & that of the empires, as he had no heirs. Therefore, on the advice of his close friend king Banasura, Jarasandh decided to get his two daughters 'Asti and Prapti' married to the heir apparent ofMathura, Kansa. Jarasandha had also lent his army and his personal advise to Kansa to create a coup d'état in Mathura.
When Krishna killed Kansa in Mathura, Jarasandha become enraged because of Krishna and the entire Yadavas clan on seeing his two daughters being widowed. So, Jarasandha attacked Mathura repeatedly. He attacked Mathura 17 times. Sensing danger over the repeated attack on Mathura by Jarasandha, Krishna relocated his capital city to Dwaraka. Dwaraka was an island and it was not possible for anyone to attack it at all. Hence, Jarasandha could not attack the Yadavas anymore.Yudhisthira was planning to make a Rajasuya yagna or Ashwamedha Yagna in order to become the emperor. Krishna convinced him that Jarasandha was the only obstacle to oppose Yudhisthira from becoming an emperor. Jarasandha raided Mathura (Krishna's ancestral capital) and got defeated by Krishna every time. At one stage to avoid unnecessary loss of lives, Krishna moved his capital to Dwaraka, in one stroke. Since Dwaraka was an island city guarded heavily by Yadava Army, Jarasandha was not able to invade Dwaraka anymore. To attain the capacity to invade Dwaraka, Jarasandha planned to conduct a Yagna to please Lord Shiva. For this Yagna, He had imprisoned 95 kings and was in need of 5 more kings, after which he was planning to perform the Yagna, sacrificing all the 100 kings. Jarasandha thought that this Yagna will make him win the powerful Yadava Army.
The kings captured by Jarasandha wrote a secret missive to Krishna to rescue them from Jarasandha. Krishna, not wanting to go for an all out war with Jarasandha to rescue the captured kings, in order to avoid a major loss of lives, devised a plan to eliminate Jarasandha. Krishna advised Yudhisthira that Jarasandha was a major obstacle and must be killed before Yudhisthira starts performing the Rajasuya yagna. Krishna planned a clever scheme to eliminate Jarasandha by making Bheema wrestle with the Jarasandha in a dual fight, who killed Jarasandha after a fierce battle (Dwandwa yudha), which lasted for 27 days.

Like Karna, Jarasandha was also very good in giving charity donations. After performing his Shiva pooja, he used to give whatever the Brahmins asked for. On one such occasion Krishna, Arjuna and Bheema in the guise of Brahmins met Jarasandha. Krishna asked Jarasandha to choose any one of them for a wrestling match. Jarasandha chose Bheema, the strongman, to wrestle. Both of them fought for 27 days. Bheema did not know how to defeat Jarasandha. So, he sought the help of Krishna. Krishna knew the secret by which Jarasandha could be killed. Since, Jarasandha was brought to life when the two lifeless halves joined together, conversely, he can be killed only when these his body was torn into two halves and find a way as how these two don't merge. Krishna took a stick, he broke it into two and threw them in both directions. Bheema got the hint. He tore Jarasandha's body into two and threw the pieces in two directions. But, these two pieces came together and Jarasandha was able to attack Bheema again. Bheema got tired after several such futile attempts. He again sought the help of Krishna. This time, Lord Krishna took a stick, broke it into two and threw the left piece on right side and the right piece on the left side. Bheema precisely followed the same. Now, he tore Jarasandha's body into two and threw them in opposite directions. Thus, Jarasandha was killed as the two pieces could not merge into one. 

Well the story went well but my friend asked ," if earth is round and the pieces of his body could join when they face each other then HOW did they NOT joined on the other side of GLOBE ?"

 The sir were not in position to answer ,neither am I, can you answer ? !!

discipline

A boy was flying a kite with his father and asked him what kept the kite up.
 Dad replied, "The string."
 The boy said, "Dad, it is the string that is holding the kite down."
 The father asked his son to watch as he broke the string.
 Guess what happened to the kite? It came down. Isn't that true in life?
 Sometimes the very things that we think are holding us down are the things that are helping us fly. That is what discipline is all about.

 ......and make it a disciplined week ahead.

Hansa and Prafull

1

Hansa : Mature matlab ????
praful: jab apna mahesh...chori karte hue pakda gaya tha.. tab usne kya kaha tha ????? 
hansa: usne kaha tha.. mujhe chodd do.. "MAIN CHOR NAHI HOON" 
main chor ...main chor....mature. ..acha acha....

2

hansa: praful alphabet matlab
praful: alphabet hansa,local train mein safar karte hoye maasi jaise hi koi seat khali dekhti hai to wo apni beti alpha se kya kehti hai?
hansa: alpha beth seat pe,alpha beth,acha toh yeh alphabet 

3

Hansa : Prafulll "Asset" matlab ??? 
Praful : Asset Hansaaa .... 
Jab hum gaadi mein jaate hai and jab gaadi signal par rukti hai .... taab vo bhikari log aa kar kya bolte hai ...
"Aee Seth... thoda paisa do naa" ... "Eee Sethh ... " ... Asset ..

4

Hansa : Yeh Depend kya hota hai Prafful?? 
Praful : Depend Hansa... wo Swimming Pool mein ek taraf to paani kam gehra hota hai, aur dusri side zyada gehra... Deep-End.. Depend 

5

HANSA:- ae he he PRAFUL, Tournament matlab
PRAFUL:- TOURNAMENT HANSA!!! ye jo tumne jhuke pahane hai, Gehene pahene hai,Inko English mai kya khayate hai? Bolo bolo !!
HANSA:- Aaa haaan TOURNAMENT, (HANSA khush hokar) 
MELISA:-chidkar)aare use Tournament nahi, Ornament kahate hai.
HANSA:- aare kuch bhi maat bol
eak Jhumka -- ORNAMENT
do jhumke -- TWO ORNAMENT# #TOURNAMENT
Aaa Prafull, Melisia ko babuji ki tarha kuch bhi nahi aata.

6

Hansa: Praful elastic matlab??
Praful: Elastic Hansa...
apni voh radha ben unki beti ila ...
usko jab fracture hua tha to voh kya leke chalti thi??
Hansa : Ila to...
Ila-stick leke ...
Ila-stick !! Ila-stick!!!

7

Hansa : Praful "Decide" matlab ?
Praful : "Decide" Hansa ... vo Casettee player mein hum casettee nahi dalte usme hota hai na .... "A side" -- "B side" .... toa "C-side" ... "D- side" ---> "Decide"

Hatred

A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game.

 The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes.

 Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates.

 So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

 So when the day came, each child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

 Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended...

 The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

 Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

 Moral of the story:

 Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime.

 Forgiving others is the best attitude to take!

 Love Everyone & Be Loved... :) :) ♥

Apathy

Opposite of Love is not HATE, Opposite of love is apathy. Hate is just love gone bad.

many a times we feel hatred towards our fellow being, its just because we like them but are not able to accept them the way they are.

there are only two possible solution to the problem , either change them..

or just start adjusting to their nature.

Apathy is having no feeling whatsoever for the person , this happens when the person falls below our hatred level. Its bad that a person hates you but its worse if the person has a apathetic feeling towards you.

a potter fan would just say '“Apathy is a sort of living oblivion.”'

Lost in oblivion, devoid of emotions

Sadness inexplicable and feelings senseless

Dreams shattered and people left 

A sense of apathy persists

Self realization has took it's toll

The vision is blank and future looks bleak

So cold and desolate, a superficial robot

That cries out for help inside

No guilt, No conscience, No worries

Nothing, but nothingness remains

He pondered his life and the things he would change if given the opportunity.  There was his lack of education, his uninspiring job, and of course his troubled marriage.  These thoughts ran through his head several times a day, especially in the evening hours, before drifting off to sleep.  He never took much responsibility for the things that went wrong in his life.  Inevitably, someone else was always to blame.  But how…how could he change things?  Surely, there must be a way.  This thought pounded his brain during his last few minutes of wakefulness, as he buried himself beneath the covers, finally closing his eyes…too apathetic to give a damn.. . . .